When the Sun stopped Shinning

Standing on the edge of the balcony , the wait had felt so serene. It did not matter how long it took for the first rays of light to peak over the horizon. I would wait patiently. These rays were symbolical to me as the rays of a new dawn. It naturally felt as the auspicious moment to execute my final plan. There was not a single thought or emotion. The plan, was for the first time in many years , not at all complicated. Nights of contemplating and reasoning had eaten away at the fear of my inevitable destiny. My plan was as simple as a single step , a step into thin air. After that gravity would give it, its final touches. There would be no more sleepless night , no more guilty thoughts and most of all there would no longer be loneliness.

It was 5:43 in the morning, and the cold bit at my skin. The papers had forecasted the sun to rise at 5:57. That gave me fourteen whole minutes. For a person whose 26 years of life was about to come to an end , these fourteen minutes seemed like a torturous eternity. I refused to close my eyes , for I feared the images that would pop up. I fought against the cold and the shivers that had come over my body. I gripped the railing harder as my watch struck 5:50. I willed to look back into my room , to have one last glance at the photo’s of the people who had meant a lot to me, but I could not bring myself to it.

I had left no note. I did not know how to say goodbye. I did not know how to prove that my act was not one of a selfish nature. I had fought as hard as I could, struggled against the tide of life, but life had quit on me. I had been in the face of death many times before, and each survival had only boosted my belief that I was meant for greater things. I , a graduate, from one of the best in the nation, and my education and skills had only provided me with the opportunity to sit in front of a monitor for 13 hours a day , raking mere peanuts under those who were a lot under qualified than myself. The world had stood still for me , when those who had edged past an education had turned out to be more successful. I was rejected by every one, I had cared for. No one had bothered to respond to the text messages I had sent. My phone had remained silent for a very long time. I had waited all night , hoping for the phone to ring. For someone to convince me to fight on . I had hoped for a call from that one person around whom my life had found some meaning.

I did believe in God. After all , such a grand finale could not have been made possible by human hands. Upon the dark palette that filled the sky, the heavens opened its door , and it could have only been the hand of God ,that had started painting across the sky a shade of orange. I closed my eyes .A bead of sweat trickled across my cheeks and merge dwith the tears that I had been unaware of till then.

Out of silence came the first noise that I had heard in the silence of the night. My watched beeped 5:57.